Ok, that was misleading. We are, in theory, only going to go around once. But, between you and me, I have my doubts about whether or not I will make it that far.
For, you see, we are about to “Cycle the Wight“. I know, I thought it seemed like a good idea when I first heard about it too. But, as the time draws near, I am beginning to realise the error of my ways.
For one thing, the Isle of Wight is much bigger than in looks on the weather maps. There, it is just a tiny dot off the southern coast of England. In reality, it’s a much bigger dot. Really, much bigger.
Then there’s the weather. I haven’t actually looked at the forecast yet but how good can it be? It has, after all, been raining non-stop for weeks now. Is it all that likely to be sunny and warm, with a gentle breeze? I think we can safely say that the answer to that is…no.
And then there is the problem that the Isle of Wight is insanely hilly. Not gentle, rolling hills, but really horrible steep climbs that seem to go on forever. At least they always looked that way to me as I sat in the car wondering who in their right minds would want to cycle here.
And last, but certainly not least, is the fact that some creep stole my bicycle, again, several weeks ago and it was only yesterday that I could bring myself to buy another one. I toyed with the idea of asking the thief to pick it up himself, thereby cutting out that inconvenient middle part where I briefly owned it, but then I realised that I would actually be needing it myself this weekend and so he will just have to wait a few days.
And so, I am about to set off on a 60 mile jaunt around a hilly island, in bad weather, on a bike that I have never ridden before.
I can hardly wait.
But, I have not forgotten that I still owe you a post about the Queen, some chairs and a clarinet. I will, without a doubt, write it for next week.
If I can sit down at a computer by then.
Wish me luck.
Not Leo Tolstoy (aka Eileen Riley)